For the greater part of my life, I have gone to extremes in seeking love, validation, and acceptance. Some experts say that these things are foundational needs in everyone. For many years I prayed to be delivered from all my unpleasant and ugly memories in my life. So about three years ago, I started this blog. In essence it has become a platform for processing what I am learning while living in a Kingdom. This is a Kingdom of change, transformation, and New Life.
This morning I walked into the Casino for 99 cent breakfast with my gal friends. With me, I carried a little crown to give to one of my friends as an encouragement. I told my friend (who is a singer whom is having difficulty with her voice because of illness) that a singing angel from heaven dropped her crown and when I tried to give it back to her, (the angel) she told me to give her crown to my friend and to tell her she is Royalty. The fact is, it was my friend whom gave me a gift this morning at 99 cent breakfast at the Casino, and it at all possible I am going to attempt to repeat what my friend (now wearing the little crown) told me.
“We all have a story, we remember events in our lives that shape us. In fact, our memories shape us to the cellular level. If we are seeking validation, look at our cells, they are more than validating us because they tell us this: “yes I remember! I remember!” Even though the cells were born with are not the cells we have today, our cells remember, and when they reproduce, those memories are reproduced as well.” I said, “I am at a place in my life, where I wish to address the primary foundation of a worthlessness I feel under the surface all of the time, a primal defeated fear, a crippling premise from which I live my life. I want to get to the bottom where the rubber meets the road and change this…. “thing.” My friend proceeded to tell me that it is our choice in how we wish to see reality–in fact who really knows, even ourselves, what REALLY happened with this or that memory we keep feeding our identity with.”
I had an epiphany of all the stuff in my subconscious that I”hold” on to–even in my cells, therefore, in my daily life in how I perceive reality. My friend proceeded to tell me about her PTSD, a condition we both share. I don’t want to have PTSD because it has destroyed relationships and in essence the way I view myself.” My friend said, “Then choose your memories–they can be victim oriented, or they can be life-giving and uplifting,” At that I replied, “well then, I have been living in a grave yard of a dead past that I cannot bury because it is “alive” within my being.
The wonderful thing about this encounter in the casino at 99 cent breakfast, is that I walked out changed. I know that God is a God of restoration, and so I prayed this prayer: “Dear God, change the memory in my cells to what your original design was for me–may my entire being come into alignment with your complete perfection in the creation you made in me. Thank you for my Life dear Father and for every experience in my life–I have no regrets. But if my experiences have brought me to this day, then I recognize I have defined myself through the past and in a way, there is nothing I can do because my cells keep remembering–then I keep reacting the same way over all kinds of things. Thank you God for removing this “thing” in my being.”
To keep things simple, we don’t have to live in the graveyard of our past. We can live in a Kingdom of His Mercy and Grace. “His mercies are new every morning.” I got it–the revelation that we are no longer subject to our past because of the BLOOD of Jesus; He transforms our DNA and cellular structure from glory to glory through His death, resurrection, and life in the Spirit that is the same Spirit that raised Christ from the grave.”
To keep it even more simple, I now have a fuller understanding of what it means to be a “New Creature in Christ.” Our creator is the only one who really knows His designed–The purpose here on earth embraces the experience of the transforming power of the Blood– into who we were supposed to be in the first place. It is my prayer now to be “as a little child,” a bit wiser in letting go and trusting God. So I told my friends the lengths I have gone to receive love, validation, and acceptance. To which my friend replied, ” Because you did not validate yourself.” I asked her why she never told me that 15 years ago? She said this, “Well, I just thought of it.” The anointing of God was all over my friend I am guessing.