Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
In this time of the COVID-19 pandemic we are in the midst of a paradigm shift in the earth. It is a time when the world has never been so separated yet also a time when we have never been so connected. Uncertainty is a place we all share. In order to take our next step into a better future we have an opportunity to discover who we are individually and who we are collectively. We are in the time of, “The Pause.”
In this past week I have had many conversations with people as we pray together. To hear how folks really feel in terms of a loss, fear of not making the rent, feelings regarding the COVID-19 virus; I am wondering how it will be at mile twenty-five when we are in fact only on mile one. However, in the midst of the fear and uncertainty I have never heard so much hope. We are in the time of, “The Pause.”
There is a certain slant of seriousness in the words that people speak to me as though a light of something brilliant, the very best in each one is surfacing through the darkness and despair. People are reaching out to help in committed and sacrificial ways. But in the quiet of my own heart, I am in a storm. I do not know what to do. I am riding many waves of emotion that overwhelm me.
I want to talk about what I have learned in developing a personal practice of meditation and prayer. I have learned through my practice that my emotions do not define me. I am connected to my emotions but they are not all of who I am. So when fear is so overwhelming I am on my knees weeping in my prayer closet, I allow myself to feel the fear, the worry, the doubt in that moment. When I allow myself to be who I really am in the very essence of fear, I am not adding more pain by shaming myself for being a coward, or telling myself I am not a strong person, or I should have more faith or any number of self-talk monologues that rail to convince me this is a forever moment. We are in the time of “The Pause.”
When I am fully with my feelings, even when I am looking out my window on a rainbow right in front of my home, feeling like God made it especially for me, I am with my laughter, experiencing it to the fullest. I do not start talking to myself about a reasonable explanation even if there is one, because the idea that God made me a rainbow to tell me He loves me is just what I want to feel.
In this hour of uncertainty we are “between” something. I want to talk about the place of in-between. We cannot go back to the way things were, and we have no idea where we are heading in every single sense of the matter at hand. I want to talk about what we can do with this “in-be-tween” place. A personal practice is something we create as a solid place to view reality from. From this solid place I can decide every moment of the day in simple, incidental, and magnificent ways. We are in the time of “The Pause.”
With all my heart, I believe The Pause is the place in which I share in the divinity of God. I believe it is a place where I receive divine assistance in changing directions. I especially believe The Pause in this hour to be a place of safety rather than uncertainty, a place of refuge while so many things seem to be collapsing all around me; above all The Pause is a place where I can return to over and over again at any moment of the day. I am giving myself permission to feel anything and everything; in the sanctuary of my heart.
Within The Pause, I may experience all the feelings I feel because they are real. With the understanding in the moment, “this feeling is not all of who I am.” With this knowledge, there is not reason to cling to the feeling, and with this knowledge, I know that the feeling will pass. Giving myself permission to fear, eliminates a belief system that may surface about fear as well. Such as, “if I had more faith in God, I would not be afraid of anything.” Also, know this: no one has the right to judge me because I am fearful.
What I am sharing in words with you is something that needs to be experienced. Here is the format to my personal practice that eventually shaped my life in an amazing way. I use The Pause in my “practice” of living my life.
The Practice
My “personal practice” includes dance, meditation, scripture reading, and prayer. Before my daily devotions, I start by meditating. I begin my mediations with the elements of fire, water, air, and earth. I will outline these elements later. I actually felt displaced in the earth. Integrating the natural elements of the earth, birthed a profound integration of my body with everything in my human experience while allowing my “self” to be resurrected in Jesus. As I feel a connection to the earth, I am grateful to be alive although the more of me “dies” the more I am becoming the image of Christ.After a year of integrating these elements with my devotions and intentional meditation, I feel connected not only to the Trinity, but to Mother Earth (not in a worshiping context.)
In terms of addressing COVID-19, it is my desire to add that beginning the day with this practice assists with navigating the unknown. The Pause is going to be a safe haven of refuge and strength for you. The Pause in this hour is the presence of God, the doorway into trusting the divine in a very real way, right now.
Meditation is different from prayer
My meditation is different from prayer. My prayers are “making my requests known to God.” My meditation is remaining in The Pause with the knowledge that I am in an eternal place right now; The Pause IS the presence of God because it is a timeless place. Meditation invites an intention. My intention is a word or a short phrase that is the focus during my meditation allowing a new thing to be engrafted into my being. An intention for me that is ongoing is: “Radiant Love.” I use this often. For the past 2 years, my intention has been one of the fruits of the Spirit.
Fire, Water, Air, and Earth
As I mentioned earlier, I begin my meditation with the elements of fire, water, air, and earth. These elements create for me a connection to what I am made of in terms of what the earth is made of. The elements create a visceral connection with my humanity; taking me to the beginning of creation into the now in my body. The elements are a mysterious thing–we use them without thinking every day. When I remember fire, water, air and the earth, I embrace gratitude. Gratitude for my very life–without the elements, I would not be alive. I believe the elements to be a gift from the beginning when God spoke the earth into existence from nothing–it was His first miracle. I believe the Holy Spirit to reflect the female aspect of God; Mother Earth sustains all life directed by Jesus who holds all things together. Holy Spirit speaks to me in the stillness of my mind; imparting the Spirit of the Lord, Wisdom and Understanding, Council and Might, Knowledge and the Fear of the Lord in to my earthly life as I walk out the days that have been gifted to me.
Therefore thus says the Lord God, ‘Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: ‘Whoever believes will not be in haste‘ Isaiah 28:16
Often I hold a smooth stone that tells my body I am meditating in worship of my creator, Jesus who is the Word, from whom everything was created, and in whom everything is held. The smooth stone in my hand reminds me that God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, and God the Son have me in the palm of their hand. This is the confident hope I hold in the smooth stone: This is the “Rock of my salvation,” in the “stone the builders rejected,” and this stone holds the living water in the dry places making them alive. You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 2:5).
For in Him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and firstborn from among the dead, so that in all things He may have preeminence (Colossians 1:17)
In this hour, the elements of fire, water, air and earth remind me to the fact that the whole of humanity is suffering the pandemic. The elements remind me on a primal level that we are all connected to this moment. I enter into The Pause and the presence of God, present with the elements in my body yet with the awareness that I am in a heavenly realm with Jesus. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6).
Begin with asking God
I begin with silence, allowing distractions to clear and a prayer of gratitude for all the Lord has given me. I thank Father God, Holy Spirit, and my beloved Jesus. Before I begin my meditation, I ask God for a scripture, a word, or a short phrase to return to during my meditation. This becomes my “intention” during meditation. Be open to the idea that this practice is a personal journey between you and God. You don’t have to follow anything I have mentioned if it does not agree with you.
In this hour with COVID-19 concerns, I invite you to begin mediation by checking in with the deepest concern in your heart. You are smart, what is the opposite of the deepest fear in your heart. Then choose a word or short phase, a scripture to focus on. I have been integrating one of the Fruits of the Spirit. You get the picture; I return to my focus word or phrase while stilling my mind and opening my heart to God’s heart expecting transformation in my being.
Fire
Beginning my meditation with lighting a candle represents The fire of God is in all things–the energy in matter; “the light” which was the first word.God spoke into being. “Let there be light.” I thank God for fire and for The Light of Jesus. Fire represents refining like melting down the dross to create pure gold. Pure gold is what we are discovering in our new life in Christ.
In this hour with COVID-19, I light a candle for humanity. I light a candle for healing of the whole of our world. I light a candle in memorial of those who have died, and for those who remain. I light a candle with the full knowledge that “He who began a good work in me will complete it to the day of Jesus Christ.” This is the day. We have arrived; we are in Him and He is in us. He is the gold and He is making us into His image.
Water
Water represents my physical body. I pour water into a glass and I drink it when my meditation is finished. The Living Water of the Holy Spirit–and the baptism of New Life in Jesus is found in my cup of water. I am in awe that the first miracle Jesus performed with turning water into wine at a wedding. I feel that water represents the “womb” of the Holy Spirit where all things become new-where the Spirit is within our body which is “the temple of the Holy Spirit.” Water is a very symbolic thing and I am fascinated with it.
In this hour, I pour water to represent the fountain of life coming into my reality with peace, revelation, understanding , wisdom, council, might, the awe of the Lord, the Spirit of the Lord and knowledge in how to wait. (Isaiah 11). You may wish to do a word study on all these aspects of The Spirit of God for further enlightenment on the nature, character, power, ways an authority of God that has been offered to the followers of Christ.
Air
Sound represents the air. It can be a small bell when I am indoors or the song of a bird when I am outside. “The breath of life” is what I think of while ringing a small bell representing the air. God breathed life into the living. The Ruach ha Kodesh–the Spirit of the Living God is what God breathed into Adam when he was formed from the earth. Ringing the bell invites sanctuary and a place to be still in His presence. Natural air is what we breath through the trees. Spiritual air is the breath that God breathed into Adam, forming the first man from the earth. This is the spiritual significance of The Tree of Life is a reference to the gift of Life, the fall of humankind in choosing the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and above all, the Tree of Life represents the cross where Jesus sacrificed Himself so that humankind can return to right relationship with Father God, Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ. The Tree of Life provides the “breath of eternity” in retuning us to the Garden to walk in the cool of the morning or evening with God as The Three imparts purpose and the means to carry out our personal and collective calling in the earth.
In this hour with COVID-19, when I ring a small bell, I am also honoring and lifting in prayer all those serving in the medical profession; I ring a small bell to celebrate community coming together and sharing their best with others. “We are in this together.”
The Song
Earth
Remembering the earth has been such a blessing to me in my personal practice. Smelling something of the earth- represents the gift of Life, the Grace of Jesus Christ in my daily life, and the connection of my body, soul, and spirit to the earth is a awareness in the moment and brings me joy. To notice the earth in all the ways that earth is–the scent of so many thing on the earth is like “stopping just to smell the roses.” This is holding space for the living and for the celebration of the lives of those who have passed.
In this hour, I embrace the precious gift of life in each moment. In this moment I embrace the essence of “Radiant Love.”
I mentioned earlier touching a smooth stone during meditation. This keeps me connected to the present moment. I notice that I am alive and that God created me. There is just one of me. This helps me remember how to love myself as God loves me. My intention today is “Radiant Love.”
Feeling
This is an example of my prayer once all the elements are in place. You can decide what comes first–you may decide to pour water into a crystal bowl or glass. This is an example of my prayer:
Dear Lord, may I be like you. May I be radiant love. I am grateful for life, and wait on you to accomplish your will. I am silent and still–then I say in my mind the words, “radiant love.” My mind wanders. Thoughts come and go. Then I remember, “radiant love.” I return when my mind drifts to, “radiant love.” This is sometimes called, “Mindfulness.” This pattern of meditation has been a balm of healing for me on many levels.
I may sound a bit “New Age” but that is not what this practice embraces for my life and what the Lord has used it for in my transformation. After all, God created these elements to sustain life on earth first-and I am fascinated with earth, air, fire, and water and the symbolic significance of the fact that surely we can understand that this earth and the life on it proves that there is a creator–how could any of this be a random occurrence?
I spend from 15-30 minutes in meditation. I end the meditation with blowing out the candle and drinking the water I poured. There is something that happens with this way of personal practice that has transformed me–it will be different for everyone.
I return to the pause during my day when I am faced with feelings connected to ego, attachment, aversion or fear. (Fear is the mantle of satan that keeps me from trusting God in EVERYTHING. Fear cannot exist in love–Perfect Love casts out all fear.) For me ego is selfishness or trying to do life in my own strength. Attachment is something that I am clinging to that keeps me bound to an idol (a person, place, or thing.) Aversion, is allowing myself to judge something as right, wrong, good, bad instead of what I call “radical acceptance.” Radical acceptance is trusting God with EVERYTHING. The human condition navigates ego, attachment, aversion and fear all the time. By accepting my human condition instead of shaming myself and remaining a “sinner,” I embrace my “sainthood in the divine” because this is what Jesus paid the price for. That means I accept what Jesus did for my human condition on the cross. He comes into my human condition with love and the fruits of the spirit to overcome darkness and the mindset of the world which is not purpose driven in Jesus Christ.
I return to The Pause when I am angry, sad, depressed, grieved, selfish, jealous, greedy, lustful, wanting, hating, fearful or anything at all on a negative level. In The Pause, I cultivate the opposite. I turn directions without self-condemnation, a belief system, or shame. In the presence of God, is the fullness of joy. In the Pause I am always accepted just where I am. I accept myself as well. I love others from The Pause without judgement or expectations. I give grace because I wish to receive grace. I ask God to show me how to respond to the situation with the knowledge that He will never fail or forsake me. Discover The Pause for yourself–it will be the most personal thing in your life.
In this hour, I return to the pause when uncertainty and fear overwhelm me. When I hear of the increasing loss of life due to COVID-19, I return to The Pause. Before I enter the store, I return to The Pause to walk through mindfully and not allow other people’s fear to vex my spirit. I return to The Pause when I listen to the news and my faith seems like it just spilled out of my soul. I return to The Pause when I panic that my loved ones could get the virus, or with so many waves of thoughts and emotions I have honestly never encountered that are indeed REAL. Don’t run away from your real. Feel your real, then return to The Pause.
The Pause
The pause is a place between pain and pleasure
Between agony and joy
Between punishment and reward
Between past and future
Between temptation and resolve
Between envy and strife,
Between malice and love
Between anything that is in-be-tween my breath.
I begin my day dwelling in the Pause.
The pause for me is staying in the presence of God.
Returning to The Pause is entering the presence of God by choice, drawing nigh to Him as He draws nigh to me. The pause allows me to make a choice between–in-be-tween to lesson the suffering of my soul–to pray, to hear His voice and dance.
The Path
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:13-14
Resolve
The fruits of the spirit bring resolve–they cannot be contested. When I am burdened with the cares of this world, I notice, validate the truth in what is real to me, and return to my intention of the day. Do I know what that looks like all of the time? No I do not. But making the choice is connecting me to The Pause–the the presence of the divine and my sharing with the divine. Jesus is at the right hand of the Father making intercession for me–I am in His hands. The Pause is a place of peace, safety, joy, and above all, radiant love. But it is also a place where I hear the LORD clearly in overcoming this world by trusting God’s will. When I ask, He always lets me know how He sees a situation, circumstance, trial, tribulation, decision, as an opportunity to know Him more in my walk of transformation as a Kingdom citizen.
Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.