My Identity in Christ

I prayed: “Dear God, I don’t believe in Jesus either, but I want to.”

My relationship with the Lord began when I was nine years old on a playground. This particular day I was not being teased for my size. A Jewish boy was receiving the torment—and I asked someone why they were teasing him and calling him names. I asked because I was happy I wasn’t  being teased.  He said, “Jews don’t believe in Jesus.”

When I went home in the quiet of my own room, I thought of the Jewish boy and how I was happy he was being teased instead of me. I suddenly felt guilty for my feelings and thought about why the children said they were teasing the Jewish boy. “Jews don’t believe in Jesus.” I prayed: “Dear God, I don’t believe in Jesus either, but I want to.” I sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit and was never the same. The Lord came into my life that moment but I had no idea the magnitude of what that meant. The Lord hedged me in through the years but it was not until I was much older that I finally found a church and left the metaphysical movement I was raised in. Yet through the years the Lord began to weave the tapestry of my identity in Christ.

Thank God, there were many who planted seeds along the way

When I received the truth at 9 years old, I had no one to guide me through the Word. I had no identity in Christ. My upbringing consisted of study in the metaphysical philosophies I was raised with that promoted the idea that Jesus was not God. I spent hours reading, studying, and proclaiming all the things within these philosophies and teachings. The truth of the matter was, I still felt empty in my spiritual life and continued to search until I consciously found “the truth.” Then I began to realize my identity in Christ. I will say this, there were many who planted seeds along the way. Thank God, there were many who planted seeds along the way.

 I would not let go of my metaphysical mindset

When I was about 24 years old, a Latino woman I lived near in New Mexico spoke to me as though I knew the Lord. She shared what I now call “living testimonies” every day on how the Lord was moving in her life. She praised the Lord all the time. It was her utter joy and faith that moved me. My friend lived in an abandoned school bus with her family, yet found reason each day to praise the Lord. Yet, I would not let go of my metaphysical mindset. Ten years later, a friend told me about a church that has the most wonderful worship team. With my love for music, the idea appealed to me. It wasn’t until I had a supernatural encounter with Jesus Christ that surpassed anything I had ever experienced in all my years of study, that I finally burned all the literature I believed in “religiously.” In fact, after my encounter with Jesus Christ, the sight of those books made me physically ill. Many of those books professed that Jesus Christ was nothing more than a prophet rather than the Living God who created the universe. I realized for the first time that I actually had an identity in Christ and that He was carrying me through the darkness of the deception by reminding me that we met one evening when I was nine years old.

I had always wished to understand the “mystery” of God

The first book of the Bible I read was Ephesians. It was the most beautiful thing to finally sense the real truth, “the truth” I had longed for all of my life. In all the years I spent in study of metaphysical teachings, nothing compared to what I found in the first book of the Bible I ever read. My heart leapt with joy at what my spirit was responding to in the Living Word of God. When I read the book of Ephesians, the scripture that stood out the most to me at the time was Ephesians 3 where Paul speaks of the “mystery of Christ.” I had always wished to understand the “mystery” of God. I think that was my greatest desire—that is why I continued to find the mystery of God in some way each and every day since. I am a seeker and I found Jesus. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mathew 7:7). As I continue to study and meditate on the Word, Jesus continues to reveal the mystery of God. Every day seem to be just the beginning of discovering my identity on Christ. What a beautiful journey in knowing the King of Kings as a member of the Royal House of God in the Kingdom; the Good News is what is really real in my life. Thank you Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.